Tuesday, September 19, 2006

And Speaking of Backs...

Bloody backs! Down with backs!! Backs are stupid!!! Never have a back!!!!

Backs are proof to me that if there had been an intelligent designer (of course there wasn't an intelligent designer but if there had been) then he/she or it was definitely NOT very intelligent.

Yes, I have a bad back. This phase of bad-backness has been going on for the last few weeks... just one wrong move and boing, there it goes... agony!

And you get no sympathy for a bad back.

Every time you get up from your chair and shout "ow!!" your kids just laugh at you....

Even the correct terms for "bad back" are a bloody nuisance. Take lumbago for example.
When I was a kid I always thought lumbago sounded really funny... I pictured a kind of special humbug. I mean the expression just doesn't tell you anything does it?

For example broken leg is pretty clear or sprained ankle but lumbago? What's that supposed to be?

Or look at sciatica, that's another non-name...

"I have sciatica"

"Oh, is that The Who's new album?"

The Germans are a little more helpful. It's called Hexenschuss in German which literally means witch shot... i.e. you have been shot by a witch. That captures the idea quite well.

However in Anglesey (Wikipaedia link) I found brief but nevertheless welcome respite from the physical and mental torture of lumbago. We were walking along the cliffs near Bull Bay and my back was twitching and pinging with pain. We came upon a little narrow wooden bench for walkers to sit on to admire the view. Now I had the idea to stretch out on it and... wonder of wonders... NO PAIN... just a warm sinking feeling of relaxation...

The Druids were pretty big on Anglesey, you know... hmmm...

Anyway, someday I must go back (oh please yourselves)...

1 comment:

Anji said...

I'm sorry. I know exactly how you feel. I can't ride a bike anymore, it takes too long to recover. Last time I had xrays the doctor said there were signs of arthritus. I find walking helps. Pity you couldn't take the bench home with you.