Thursday, November 22, 2007

Application...or Lack of It

There's the medieval version:
Stephen of MacClaren was taken to the Tower of London and beheaded...

And there's the modern version:
Steve McClaren was fired and given two and a half million pounds...

And as for the players, I think it should be compulsory for the next England manager to sign a document in which he or she affirms that he or she is aware of the fact that all the players available for the national team are complete and utter thickheads and that all tactics will be spelled out in tedious detail.

I have already made a start at writing the training manual.

Week 1: Passing the ball

Week 2: Passing the ball to another player

Week 3: Passing the ball to another player IN YOUR TEAM.


Anji said...

I wonder what you could be talking about.....?

Neutron said... the correct answer!

MacDuff said...

Here is a bit from a Scottish Insurance broker Alan Johnson.

TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire country laughed itself to death.

The alarm was first raised at around 10pm on Wednesday night as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered.

Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead people gathered around still blaring television sets.

By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture.

Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: "We went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They seemed to be at peace."

He added: "In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees.

"It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over."

Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: "I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm.

"He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet."

Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.

...Probably the Best Insurance Broker in Hamilton