In the news today they revealed that Manchester Airport has installed 2 new body scanners for security. Not satisfied with making you remove your belts, boots and other paraphernalia, they will now select passengers at random for a full body scan - and anyone who refuses will not be allowed to fly.
I don't mind the belt and boot stuff - it's just such a bugger putting everything back on again whilst trying to grab your bags and move all your luggage and clothes and shoes out of the way of the next hopping, hobbling passengers. My right boot is a particular nuisance - every time I struggle to pull it on, I find myself singing that chorus of Lonnie Donegan's song "My Old Man's a Dustman" referring to his dad's old boots, "he's got such a job to pull them up that he calls them daisy roots", so there I am hopping, hobbling, trying to put my belt on before my trousers fall down, trying to carry my bag and jacket while tugging on my right boot and getting pushed over by the less boot-pulling-on-challenged passengers and singing to myself that bloody song...
Now, I actually started writing this post to complain and ask you in an ironic, eye-rolling way if you wanted to bet who would get "randomly selected" at Manchester Airport when I fly on Wednesday, but having thought about the boot problem I think I might just volunteer for a body scan. As they have 2 of them, they should just about be able to fit me in...
(What? Put on avoirdupois? Moi????)
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