Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Er...Houston...We Have A Problem...

I mentioned, did I not, that my laptop was behaving erratically? Well, I ran - or rather - tried to run McAffee on my system after someone had told me it was a good virus catcher. Now, maybe it is but it couldn't seem to progress beyond a certain group of files buried deep down in the murky depths of the WINDOWS folders...
So as I am wont to do, I put on my virtual e-scuba equipment and plunged over the side to plumb the ranges of Lappy's disk, the barren e-sea 20,000 leagues beneath the user-surface...

Let's see...bubble bubble...WINDOWS....bleep -bleep....Profiles...bleep - bleep...My Folders...bubble bubble...bleep...Application Data...bloop - bleep....getting deeper now...Profiles again...bleep - bleep...ah...Outlook Express...
...by now I was breathing pure e-helium...so the rest of this blog would be in a squeaky voice...oh yes...here we are - all kinds of strange files with unknown tags... .spb ? .dat ? Strange inhabitants of the deep...and hundreds of MBs which are probably slowing down my poor old Lappy...
So I started hacking at them..chopping them to pieces...clearing great swathes of space on my harddisk...yoohoo this is the life...
"Are you sure you want to delete this file?"
Indeedy-do...my little HAL cousin...
"Are you absolutely sure??"
Never been surer, my old mate...come on let's get rid of all this rotting mail slowly decomposing on the e-bed...whoosh..delete...whosh whoosh...delete delete...
"Are you really QUITE sure??"

I made it back to the top breathless with the excitement of the wanton destruction I had carried out for the sake of my trusty e-friend, Lappy. Pressed restart...waiting to see how much quicker he had become...
Oh yes, definitely booted quicker! Ha!

Now let's have a look at my Thunderbird where all my recent emails are - unlike the old, festering ones I had just butchered...

Gone! The lot! All my folders...all my mails!! FUCK!! GONE!!!

Just now all I can do is emit little squeaky helium laughs...no doubt this will count as a major catastrophe over the next weeks when I discover how many important mails have simply vanished...but now...tee-hee...hee hee hee...

Lappy is a bit quicker too...but he is also a little more resigned to my very human capriciousness than before and there seemed to be a slight hint of depressed despair when he asked me if I really wanted to switch him off...

1 comment:

ron said...

Can you say Mac?